


About Last Night

by silentlullabye



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bereft of Clothing, Crack, Exaggerated Dramedy, Frottage, Inappropriate Use of a Piano, It's Always Tequila Though Isn't It, It's a Shame when you can't remember the, Just Utter Complete Crack, Lydia Martin helps, M/M, Making Out, OOCness, Pack Fic, Passionate Embracing, Potty Mouths, Texting, The Porcelain God, Too Much Tequila, With a Love Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-24
Updated: 2012-07-24
Packaged: 2017-11-10 15:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/467600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentlullabye/pseuds/silentlullabye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A love story told through one hundred text messages.</p>
<p>Complete crack really with some slight OOCness.</p>
<p>Should probably be called The Night Stiles Got Lucky and Forgot About It.</p>
            </blockquote>





	About Last Night

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine and as per usual I'm writing this at four in the morning so checking for errors is so gonna have to wait.
> 
> The texting gets seriously out of hand here and the format prolly sucks but I couldn't think of a better way to do it.
> 
> Yes this is crack. Yes they act out of character at points.

*One – Six*

( _Stiles Stilinksi_ to **Scott McCall** , 9:47a.m.)

_Dude. Why am I naked on your couch?_

**Not my couch.**

**What do you mean ur naked?**

_As in nude, Scott. Bereft of clothing. And who the hell’s couch is it then?_

**idk dude. You seen Allison?**

_just woke up on a stranger’s couch without any pants. No. I haven’t seen her._

* * *

*Seven – Thirteen*

( **Lydia Martin** to _Stiles Stilinski_ , 9:56a.m.)

**Stiles what did you do with my bag?**

_What bag?_

**The one I gave you to hold while I took care of Erica.**

_YOU TOOK CARE OF ERICA???_

**Don’t be an ass. Like you’ve never gotten sick. Seriously, where’s my shit, Stilinski?**

_I don’t even know who’s couch I’m on right now, Lydia. How am I supposed to know where your stupid bag is?_

**Do you even know what I had in that bag?? Do you? Several hundred dollars worth of cosmetics, my phone, my id, my wallet. You had BETTER find it, asshole!**

* * *

*Fourteen – Sixteen*

( _Stiles Stilinski_ to **Erica Reyes** , 10:04a.m.)

_Erica have you seen Lydia’s purse?_

_Erica?_

_Erica?????_

* * *

*Seventeen – Twenty-two*

( **Scott McCall** to _Stiles Stilinski_ , 10:06a.m.)

**Found Allison.**

_Awesome. Ask her if she’s seen Lydia’s purse._

**Why?**

_Just do it._

**She says no. She says that if you lost it Lydia’s prolly gonna kill you. Violently.**

_No kidding._

* * *

*Twenty-three – Thirty*

( **Danny Mahealani** to _Stiles Stilinski_ , 10:18a.m.)

**Jackson wants to know why there’s vomit on his mom’s piano. He says one of you needs to come clean it up.**

_Tell Jackson that he’s a dickhead and cleaning up some vomit won’t kill him. Also, ask him if he’s seen Lydia’s purse._

**What? Why? She had it when she took Erica home.**

_Well she seems to think I took it and lost it. Why did she take Erica home?_

**Cause she was sick. Dude, Stiles, how much did you drink last night?**

_No comment._

**Well no, I only ask cause I’m holding your pants right now. They’re in Jackson’s basement.**

_Shit._

* * *

*Thirty-one –Thirty-seven*

( _Stiles Stilinski_ to **Scott McCall** , 10:22a.m.)

_I found my pants._

**Oh good. Allison’s wearing your shirt. WHY is Allison wearing your shirt, Stiles????**

_I honestly do not know, Scott man. Everything’s blurry after Isaac started dancing on Jackson’s mom’s piano. He’s pissed btw cause somebody upchucked on it._

**Figure out who’s couch you’re on?**

_Nope. But I keep falling back asleep. It smells really good._

**Dude.**

_Shut up._

* * *

*Thirty-eight – Fifty-three*

( **Erica Reyes** to _Stiles Stilinski_ , 10:45a.m.)

**What do you want Stiles? My head is fucking pounding and you’re calling before one.**

_Heard you were sick. U okay?_

**Just peachy. Did you know it takes almost triple the amount of alcohol for a werewolf to get drunk? Do you know how much tequila that is Stiles?? I drank my body weight in tequila!!!**

_So not okay then. Have you seen Lydia’s purse?_

**She left it in my bathroom.**

_Oh thank God!!_

**What?**

_Nothing._

**So you guys have a heart to heart?**

_What? Who?_

**You don’t remember.**

_Remember what?_

**That’s low Stiles. Real low.**

_What is? What did I do? Erica?_

_Erica???_

* * *

*Fifty-four – Seventy-nine*

( _Stiles Stilinski_ to **Allison Argent** , 10:51a.m.)

_So did I act like an idiot last night? Cause Erica said I did something only I can’t remember what it is and I don’t have any pants._

**Who is this?**

_It’s Stiles. What do you mean who is this?_

**Oh sorry Stiles! Apparently your contact name was changed to…Nevermind.**

_Changed to what?_

**Not a big deal. Scott told me about the pants. I tried to tell him that you gave me your shirt because Boyd spilled all that salsa all over mine last night.**

_Right. So, me, stupid, anything??_

**I thought it was sweet. And so about time too. Told Scott and he acted all weird and told me he didn’t see you leave together.**

_Me and who??_

**You and Derek. I’m actually kinda surprised Scott didn’t notice. You were sort of obvious making out on the basement couch.**

_…Seriously?_

**Me and Lydia agree. It was kinda hot. Danny was too busy ogling Jackson to notice.**

_What. The. Hell? I don’t remember any of this! Are you making this shit up just to mess with me?_

**Why would I do that? We’ve had a bet going for months about when you too would finally bite the proverbial bullet. I won! Isaac has to do all the dishes for a month. Lydia’s pissed cause she thought it’d take you longer. Danny’s pissed cause he thought you’d get together months ago.**

_You’ve been betting? On my love life? What kind of sick people are you??_

**The kind that love you and were tired of watching you two moon over each other, pun intended. ;)**

_I hate you._

**Why isn’t Derek with you? Scott said you woke up on his couch.**

_Actually what I said was I woke up on a stranger’s couch. Looking at it now, aww, damn, it is his couch._

**You two all snuggled up together??**

_What? No!_

**Why not? Scott said you were naked. Naked Stiles is happy going home and snuggling with Derek. Why are you not happy Stiles?**

_There is no snuggling. Sour wolf isn’t here. And I hate all of you._

**Stiles?**

**Stiles? U there?**

* * *

*Eighty – Hundred*

( _Stiles Stilinski_ to **Derek Hale** , 11:13a.m.)

_Where are you?_

_Derek?_

**What?**

_Where are you?_

**I went to get breakfast. I didn’t have anything so I had to go into town.**

_Oh._

**Are you freaking out right now?**

_I am naked on your couch._

**That’s because your restless legs kept kicking off the blanket. You also owe me a new pair of sweatpants.**

_Oh no, see that bit’s coming back to me now. And the sweatpants were so your fault._

**Think your freak out will be over when I get back in five?**

_Why am I the one who freaks out? Why aren’t you? Why aren’t you being all sour-wolfy and mad? And why am I not good-sore? Did we not embrace the passionate love between us last night?_

**You embraced the passionate porcelain of the toilet bowl. After the third shirt you got vomit on I just left it all off.**

_No passionate love embracing? I distinctly remember some embracing being done. A lot. Vigorously._

**There was. Right up until the vomit.**

_Oh. Well crap. Sorry._

**It’s okay.**

**You can make it up to me.**

**Vigorously.**

_Yeah? How?_

**I’m home. Come find out.**

**Author's Note:**

> **  
>  Disclaimer:Teen Wolf is the property of Jeff Davis and MTV.   
> **
> 
>  
> 
> If bribed nicely enough I may even write about the bets the pack made! Cause you know that'd be awesome.


End file.
